We all came from the mud. Collective humanity. But we allow these meaningless differences to separate us. Language, culture, skin color. It is all meaningless in the face of infinite space and time. We do not owe anything to bones, to dust, to our so called ancestors. We owe to each other in the here and the now. Shouldn't that mean more than rituals of the past, than boundaries both abstract and artificial? Shouldn't we care more for the humanity of each of us?

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 what matters most

my name

or

my voice

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 I am starry eyed

and alone

there is not enough kindling

on the fire

I wait for the woodsman

Knowing

they are vacant

as is my spirit

What to Expect

In retrospect, I wanted this blog to help make me better, both as a writer and as a person, but i kinda fell off. I think it's natural as humans to fall off of things, but what shapes us and actually indicates whether we have what it takes achieve our goals is whether or not we climb on, so to speak. One thing i've found when it comes to writing is that I can write as beautifully as I want, but it does not mean anything if I can't tell a coherent story. So yeah, the next post will be Old Pens Par 3. I was not sure how long Old Pens should be, but I'm gonna try and finish it up in 5 parts.

30 minute post #10

Authors Note: So i've done something like this before in another post(30 minute post #6). I'm pretty much exploring one idea through different approaches(or atleast I try to approach the idea differently). Its not as drastic as the other attempt but its a way of exploring my way of writing



She utterly despised him.



Her eyes looked elsewhere. She often did this when he spoke to her. Her arms would fold defensively and her shoulders would tense up as if exposed to a biting cold. She'd hear his voice but all words would be drowned out and clumped together like some inaudible mass as she longed for the conversation to end.



The signs were and have never been more clear. There was an unnatural fixed distance between them.She'd only give short dry and almost dismissive responses to his inquiries. Her body seemed longing for the exit that was oriented towards,  and her shifting disinterested gaze practically said, I would rather be anywhere else.



When he spoke to her, the thought of being taken to some dark shed and being unceremoniously shot seemed  in comparison, like a better way one could intervene on her life.



I asked her,"Do you hate tom?" Her eyes were seemingly lit by the question. She opened her mouth as if to speak but just as quickly pursed her lips together. We then sat in silence as I watched her expression shift between several emotions as she formulated what to say. And then she finally spoke, in what I consider to be the most unconvincing tone i've ever heard in my life.
"No, I do not."

30 minute post #9

You wake to the alarm blaring in your ear. You silence it with the swing of your arm.
*thwack*
The noise stops and you're left with the conscious knowledge that you did not die in your sleep. Talk about depressing. You soon find yourself filled with dread at the thought of having to exist for another day. Having to walk around and wear that mask so that nobody asks you, "What's wrong?", "You're awfully quiet today, wanna talk about it?" Yuck. The thoughts are quickly displaced by a feeling of hunger that seems to be spreading from your stomach. You roll out of bed and head downstairs.

It's not everyday that you realize that you don't want to live anymore, but once you realize it, It kinda sticks with you. Especially with you, at least. You arrive at the office bright and early for 10 in the morning. Your boss is surprised to see you even decided to show up. You give him a acknowledging nod and head over to your cubicle. He's probably gonna go off on you today, but it does not matter.

You'll never start

Nope you wont. because you're trying to find a good time to do it. You could start today. Its a shitty day to start. You're busy. You have too much to prepare for. You just don't have time. All-in-all its a pretty good reason not to start. Imagine though, if you were to start today. If you did start today every time you have a reason not to start wont seem that bad in comparison. If you can work on it today there will be very few reasons that can stop you from working on it in the future. And you would probably finish it. But you won't start today. If you're honest with yourself you'll probably never start, because trivial things like sleep, and comfort are more important to you. If you really wanted to do it, you'd start today.

*Disclaimer : This post was not written by me but by somebody else.